When will I be beautiful to you?
Does the very hint of myself taint what might be lovely in your eyes?
I can only ask because I do not know.
The more I chase the farther away you become and I find myself not soaring the heavens with love, but on the ground watching it fly away.
I wanted you to find me.
I gave you a map to my heart, and instead you stowed it away like a piece of inventory.
It remains hidden away inside of you like a prisoner.
You’ve forgotten all about it but I cannot.
It hurts to see it everyday, pinned to the parameters of your soul, cold and shuddering in the wind.
I cannot let go now.
I am a coward because I cannot let go because it would mean that I would have to cut off a part of myself.
How is that fair?
Give it back.
It’s not yours to keep anymore.
I cry and plead to you everyday with the calm smiles and forced conversation.
If only you knew, maybe we could start over again.
Or not at all.
We could depart from each other forever.
I may have a broken heart, but at least it will be whole.
I am waiting for a peace that may never come.
I’m waiting for a better version of myself to come around.
Only time, life, and experience can find that: the long way around.
I am waiting for a short-cut to cure my frustrations.
To calm my fears of never finding solid ground.
I’m waiting, and may always be waiting.
Life should move on.
I’ll let you know if it ever stops.