Waiting for Peace No. 3

Happy National Adoption Month!

WORDS are often hard to come by in this life. 

There’s always an opportunity to opt out of saying just exactly what you want to say. 
But there NEVER is a time when it will be the same.  Words are hard to come by; they don’t actually mean anything. 
The actual breakdown of language requires a breakdown of all we say, know, hear, and understand.  
But then again, words are a MANIFESTATION, an EXAMINATION, of what we don’t understand.   
I’ve never been able to express myself in a way that both moved the reader, the listener, and myself.   

HERE WE GO:

  

I am ADOPTED. I come from China.  My mom got me and now we are TOGETHER.

NO, I don’t know who my birth parents are.  NO, I’ve never met them and I don’t know anything about them.

No, no it’s okay I’m not sad.  Are YOU sad?  It’ll be alright, DON’T worry.  It didn’t happen yesterday.

I’m very HAPPY and GRATEFUL that I am here.  If I hadn’t been adopted then I wouldn’t know you!  STOP looking at me like that.  Everything is fine.

FINE.

Is everything actually fine?  No, no it’s not.  Sometimes when I’m tired, tired of running from the ever present starting line, I am forced to face the fact that I am the UNKNOWN.

I am the feared and the mysterious.  I am a mystery to myself.

UNKNOWN.

Abandoned? No, I am FOUND.  How many times I’ll have to find myself I do not know, but however many is the number of times when I will no longer be unknown.

I shall be FOUND.  I shall be UNCOVERED.  I shall be LOVED.

Loved by my family, loved by another, and loved by MYSELF.  One day that starting line will become my FINISH LINE.

My finish line will become MY HOME.  It has always belonged to me.

I’m making this up as I go.  So, wait for me.  I am coming.

I AM BLAZING A TRAIL full of promises, wishes, desires, disappointment, heartbreak, love, laughter, sadness, defeat, and success.

I’ll meet you there with HOPE to lead the way and my FAITH to guide me.

I’ll see you there.

 

HAPPY NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH!!!

 

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